I’m not going to lie: this week has been kind of rough for me. We’ve been doing pretty well with our “unemployment/freelancing” situation, but right now there are a lot of things that we are just waiting for. Waiting to hear back about some potentially good opportunities, waiting to find out what schools Simon has to choose from, waiting to know which neighborhoods we should be looking at for our next move, etc. We are trying to be as anxiously engaged as we can be, but we also have a lot of serious decisions that are currently out of our hands. And then this weekend we got some frustrating news which kind of put me over the edge. Just a little. I’ve been working really hard to be patient and to maintain perspective, but for a little while this weekend, I let myself be sad and frustrated about things.
At church today I decided to try to put it behind me. I tried to be “friendlier” than I usually am, to talk to more people, to sit by someone I didn’t know very well. And in the end, I think it was worth it. Not just because I was able to get out of myself but because I was more open to there being something specifically for me in the meetings, which doesn’t happen often.
We were already late getting out of Relief Society, and the music director said that if anybody needed to leave to get their kids, they should feel free. But for those who could stay, we were going to sing three verses of “How Firm a Foundation” and we should all listen carefully to what we were singing because it was really important. If she hadn’t been so insistent that this was important, I probably would’ve missed it because I’m just that kind of person,, but with that kind of introduction, how could I have missed it?:
(we only sang verses 1, 3, and 4, but I’m posting them all here anyway)
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?
In every condition, — in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth,
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea, —
The Lord, the Almighty, they strength e’er shall be.
Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy troubles to bless
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flames shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
E’en down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never, forsake!