G is for Goals

G is for Goals

I like to make goals. I like to have something to work towards. It helps me if it is something big like running a marathon or getting a master’s degree. Or marrying the handsomest man ever or having the most intelligent child in the world. But once I get down to smaller goals, it is easy for me say, “Why bother?” Right now I feel like I don’t have any goals at all, just vague ideas about things I’d like to do in my life: places I’d like to be published, books I’d like to write, countries I’d like to go to, and, of course, to be a better wife and a better mother. Those last two are ideas more than goals because I don’t know how to measure them and I don’t really know how to plan specific ways to achieve them, two important things to do when you are trying to change your life, I believe. It’s like making a New Year’s resolution to “get in shape” without also making the goal to go running 100 times that year or to stop dropping by Cold Stone every day after work. I feel like I’m just sort of waiting for it to happen.

And I’m left wondering:

Am I being a good wife just by letting Micah relax when he gets home from work? By trying to make foods he likes for dinner every now and then? By being happy to let him bring home the bacon while I try to keep his child happy and learning and growing?Am I being a good mom when I catch myself before I raise my voice? When I try to let Simon do things himself, even when it is slow and messy? When I play “steamroller” with him on the bed?
Sometimes these things seem so trivial and . . . not enough.

How can I make these goals more specific, quantifiable, attainable? Any ideas?

6 thoughts on “G is for Goals

  1. oh that catching yourself before you raise your voice has been so hard for me lately. so so hard. which is weird, because i never thought of myself as that kind of person, but every night as i am trying to fall asleep for the last couple of nights i have laid their feeling sad that i am so impatient with ambrose. i think that will be my goal for today and we will see about tomorrow too. i think you are on to something. it is not trivial at all- it is the everyday that makes us who we are and the small decisions too.

  2. I think that you are an amazing mom, and I realize that I don’t get to see you almost ever! But when it comes down to it, you love Micah and you love Simon and taking life one day at a time is really what it’s all about. I may be singing a different tune in the next few years…, but I think that as you make best out of each day you will become even more of who you want to be and you’ll be able to see progress much moreso than you can see it right now. I am horrible at making quantifiable goals but I also think that it is hard to measure goals like this. At any rate Lizzie, you make me want to be a better person and I’ll be back to see what great ideas everyone else has. Ü

  3. I think you’re doing an awesome job at being a mom and a wife. Of course there are better days and worse days, and it’s different because you just finished up with your Masters. But I’m sure you’re doing a great job, and patience grows with time (at least that what my mom tells me). ;0)

  4. what a kick in the pants for me this post was. do i even try to not raise my voice anymore? i don’t know. baby #2 came and pushed everything out the window. which means, i gave up on a lot, since she wasn’t very strong when she got here.

    but you are good lizzie and i hope you never feel any different. that being said, i encourage you to keep setting those great goals and checking them off. prioritize first, than set goals that match. so wise, huh?

  5. I think the measure of your success is the width of the smile on either the husbands or the child’s face. It appears to me that they are broad and genuine grins of HAPPINESS. They both look healthy. You look healthy. I’d say your doing a GREAT job and that the creativity, caring, and love that define a Momma’s job just have to be measured in the “little moments” that make them smile – and makes your heart feel full to overflowing.

    You rock. You’re an AWESOME wife and mom. Only wish we lived closer so we could hang out. :)

    Keep up the good work!

  6. I think this has seriously got to be the most challenging part of being a stay at home mom. I wonder if I still have the email, but a friend of mine recently became the at-home dad and it was hilarious to see him quantifying how many pictures he had drawn of Sponge Bob, how many runny noses he’d wiped… he said he was surprised about how hard it was… not the work itself, but how hard it was emotionally to feel like you’ve worked all day and have little to show for it. How DO you define success as a parent?

    Most of the “quantifiable” goals really don’t materialize until they are grown. Did they serve an honorable mission? Did they marry in the temple? Do they have a testimony of the Savior? Do they know how to feel the promptings of the Spirit, and do they follow them? As I write this I realize many of those things may come sooner rather than later. As I listen to my sons pray, I can see where we are doing well, and where I need to work.

    I have to say, that catching yourself before you raise your voice is a huge success! As the numbers in your family climb, that may become a much bigger challenge, I know it is for me! I even thought about making myself a sticker chart like I do for the boys, just so they could see how hard I am trying to change. Happy Mothering, Lizzie!

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