I like to make goals. I like to have something to work towards. It helps me if it is something big like running a marathon or getting a master’s degree. Or marrying the handsomest man ever or having the most intelligent child in the world. But once I get down to smaller goals, it is easy for me say, “Why bother?” Right now I feel like I don’t have any goals at all, just vague ideas about things I’d like to do in my life: places I’d like to be published, books I’d like to write, countries I’d like to go to, and, of course, to be a better wife and a better mother. Those last two are ideas more than goals because I don’t know how to measure them and I don’t really know how to plan specific ways to achieve them, two important things to do when you are trying to change your life, I believe. It’s like making a New Year’s resolution to “get in shape” without also making the goal to go running 100 times that year or to stop dropping by Cold Stone every day after work. I feel like I’m just sort of waiting for it to happen.
And I’m left wondering:
Am I being a good wife just by letting Micah relax when he gets home from work? By trying to make foods he likes for dinner every now and then? By being happy to let him bring home the bacon while I try to keep his child happy and learning and growing?Am I being a good mom when I catch myself before I raise my voice? When I try to let Simon do things himself, even when it is slow and messy? When I play “steamroller” with him on the bed?
Sometimes these things seem so trivial and . . . not enough.
How can I make these goals more specific, quantifiable, attainable? Any ideas?