I’ve had a brain cloud for the past few days. I’m blaming it on the end of summer. Not that I am sad to see the summer go, because I’m not. I am really excited for the cooler weather, the changing leaves, and more importantly for my last semester of school to start so that it can, 14 weeks later, end. (Not that I’m counting down or anything. I love school. I do.) But it is the end of summer and I had some goals for myself that have not really been fulfilled, and the fact that I still have a week left to do them is of little comfort to me.
My plan this summer was to take a class, find a new apartment, move, visit my family, spend some time relaxing and learning how to be a mom, and get my freelancing going a bit more by pitching stories and working on my website. I did take a class, we moved, I went to Utah, and I know more about being a mom to a 16-month-old than I did three months ago. I worked on my website a little bit and it is coming along, but I haven’t pitched any stories and I don’t know why. I don’t think I am afraid to do it, and I know I have some good stories that I could make some money off of, but whenever I sit down to actually make it happen I am hit with a wave of . . . something. Something that makes me think it isn’t important to do that right now. Something that makes me think that planning meals and making a shopping list is what I really need to be doing (even though, as I’ve said before, it pains me to do such things). Perhaps I just get distracted whenever I sit down at the computer. Perhaps I am out of the writing/reporting groove and in a rut. Or perhaps it really isn’t the time for me to be doing this right now. Perhaps I need to focus on my family and my education right now and not worry so much about launching my writing career. Perhaps I am trying too hard to live my life all at once.
I don’t know what the deal is, but this week I am going to make one more effort to get some stories pitched. Hold me to it. I’ll report back later.