Some of you know how much I love living in Hawaii. It’s a dream. A warm dream, with palm trees, sand, waves, and drinks with little umbrellas in them. A dream in which time doesn’t matter. And neither does movement. I often think about the statement I heard on ESPN, or possibly NBC. Or CBS. I don’t know. It was a football game and UH was playing at home. Side note: You’ve got to love the commentary on football games. I mean, you’ve got one guy saying, “The last time it was 84 degrees with 97 percent humidity at Aloha Stadium was in 1985 and the Warriors beat San Andreas Fault State by 27 points.” And you’ve got the other guy saying, “Kahuhipoalohakane really loves to just take people down, and he’ll do it if he gets the chance. Watch him closely this game and if he doesn’t just tear into that defense, he’s just not going to be happy.” Both of these commentators may be correct, but do we really care? But I digress.
What they said at this particular game was, and I quote (or more likely, misquote), “You know Stan, it’s so easy to just get down here in this climate and just get relaxed out of your mind. These guys have to work hard just to stay motivated in this kind of heat and humidity.” It was something like that. And I think that statement is correct. Who wants to move in this kind of climate? You’re already hot and sticky, why exacerbate the problem? I figure this is the reason so many perfectly capable people push the handicap button to open the doors for them. Too much effort to open it themselves. However, there is relief. There is a body of water within walking distance of most residential areas on the island, and boy does that body move. More waves than Cougar Stadium in October! I’m not even joking. (Ha ha ha . . . ha . . . ha . . . well, I thought it was clever and only a little bit stupid.) But the point is that sometimes it’s really cool to watch people play in the waves because they move really cool-like and it looks like fun and you know that if you could do that, everybody would think you were really cool, too.
Like today we left work to drive the 2.5 miles back to our apartment and hit a traffic jam 3/4 of a mile in. There was no place else to go because there is only one road that goes around the island and if its closed, you are out of luck (see, just like a dream, er, uh, nightmare) and who knows how long we were going to be there. People were already starting to turn around to drive around the island the other way (I kid you not, we have had to do that before) so we decided to park and walk to Pounders Beach and watch the body boarders get pounded by the biggest waves we have ever seen there instead. Only these boarders were really good and timed their jumps on the waves so they could do flips and spins and it was way more exciting than staring at the people in the convertible in front of us take pictures of themselves and the mountains and the ocean and the flowers and the trees and the traffic jam (which we actually would have taken a picture of if we had our camera on us, which we didn’t) and anything else to help them remember their trip to Hawaii.
Just when you think Hawaii couldn’t get any worse with the heat and humidity and horribly inconvenient road system, just when you feel like you are standing still in the middle of a nightmare, they throw a couple of acrobats with boogie boards into the wave pool with the waves turned on high, and the sun shining bright, and the sky blazing blue and the ocean so clear you can practically see the drain at the bottom and then you think that maybe you’re not standing still in the middle of a nightmare. Maybe you’re being whisked through this dream way too fast.