This is how we feel.

This is how we feel.

I wrote this in a moment of passion. Perhaps I should have let it sit a little bit longer before posting, but I’ve done that a few times before–kept these feelings tucked away and promised myself that if it ever happened again I would do what I have thought so many times of doing, but hadn’t done yet. This may not be the best way to go about this, but I am tired of people writing off my homesickness with the phrase, “But you’re in Hawaii,” as if we had entered a magical realm where everyone is happy and the spirit of aloha is so rampant that you would think that perhaps we had somehow become a part of the City of Enoch. Newsflash: we’re still in the telestial kingdom.

We live halfway across the ocean, and good portions of the way across a continent from most of our friends and all of our family. We are an odd case in our neighborhood, and even in our town, because we are not students, but we look like we could be. We inhabit a precarious position here and nobody seems to know how to act around us, and we often feel ignored. We are also some of the few people we know on this island who don’t have any sort of family to have dinner with on Sunday nights, or to hangout with on lazy weekends. But we are busy people, too. We both work, we spend a lot of time on our fundraising for Team in Training and running to prepare for our marathon (which is only three weeks away), plus we have our church callings and responsibilities as well. And we try to keep in touch with our friends and families, to let them know that we love them and think about them often, with the hope that they will help us feel their love for us, too, because, and I’m not going to lie to you, sometimes living in Hawaii stinks. It is hard to be away from everybody we know and to know that there is nobody here that needs us as much as we need them. We want to be a part of everyone’s lives, but it is hard when we feel that no one cares if we are a part of their lives.

To those of you who do let us know that you are thinking of us, who try to keep in touch, and let us know that we are still as much a part of your lives as you are of ours, thanks. We really appreciate it. We love getting phone calls, comments on our blogs, and e-mails. They make our days.

5 thoughts on “This is how we feel.

  1. Dear Liz and Micah,
    When you first went over to Hawaii, I met Sister Bunker in the grocery store who told me her Hawaii experience. Her husband’s first job was over there. She said she liked it for the first two months and then she felt like she was on a postage stamp in the middle of the ocean. It was a little isolating and a little lonely to be so far from family and friends. She urged me to be mindful that you could come to experience something similar. I have had my antennas up, but I had not felt that in any of your correspondence or conversation until now. I’m frankly glad to know that we are missed. When I was in Hawaii, almost every family that moved back to the mainland, did so to be closer to extended family.The ties that bind families together are of ultimate importance. To be sealed in the temple, to know thatwe will be with Matthew and he with the rest of us, is the greatest comfort in the world. I remember how hard you cried, Lizzie, when we told you Matthew was gong to die. I thought your heart was going to break right then and there. Separations are difficult and we have missed both of you very much. We are so excited to have you coming home for Christmas! The poem I wrote called “They’re Coming Home,” is the poem I have received the most praise for. Everyone relates to the joy of the reunion, of reaching out and embracing one another and being once more in the heart of the family. That is why the idea of being in heaven to go no more out, sounds so wonderful. I hope I don’t sound selfish, but there are certain things I have missed about you. I’ve missed your candor, like when you’ve told me I needed to put milk back on the table. (I believe you even went out and bought some.) I’ve missed your insights, like how to organize the house better. I’ve missed your goofy hair does and crazy dancing style, your enthusiasm for cooking and for exercising, and your words of wisdom for your siblings. I really hope you will share with them this understanding, because I have come to feel it so strongly myself. As I have been collecting memories of Grandpa and Grandma, Grandpa’s cousins have always been close to him. It has been a great blessing. I can’t tell you how much I want you children to live close to each other, raise your children together, and have that sense of community and the opportunity to go through all of life together, sharing your joys and sorrows. As I have watched Becca reaching out to Abby to room with her as she did with you, Jon providing a car for the college kids, and Chris treating everyone to lunches on his account, I have been so grateful to see the family reaching out to each other in very significant ways. I know this is the way it is supposed to be and look forward to having you and Micah closer. Love, Mom B.

  2. Hey Liz,

    Thanks for letting us know how you really feel. Its hard to tell people that things are less than fine, at least I think it is.

    I just want to let you know that I enjoy reading your blogs and the pictures you send. I am thinking of you and will try to do a better job of communicating that in the future.

  3. HI! I saw your link on Adrian’s page and I just wanted to say hi! Micha, you and Adrian married smart ladies! Both Jodie and Elizabeth are excellent writers :)
    Things are good here but, I couldn’t help but sympathize a little when reading of your “fish-out-of water” feeling. Jordan (the husband) and I are out of school, working and not many people really talk to us. But, I wanted to spread the Ohio-love! We are living in Cincinnati. My husband is doing graphic design and advertising. He recently did some work for Juicy-Juice and Pop Tarts. Fun times. Hey, I hope thigns are good for you guys! Take care of eachother!

  4. Hey Misty! It was so nice to see your post. I am glad that things are going well for you (despite the fish-out-of-water thing). Also, it is nice to know that you married a designer. They are a good bunch, I hear.

    Well, have a good one and feel free to visit our blog anytime.

  5. Suddenly I feel better about putting so many comments up. I know I’m not in the middle of the ocean on an island with no family around, but I think I can say that I know how you feel. Sometimes you can be in a sea of people and still feel like you’re alone. At least, that’s how I feel at school sometimes. Like you want somebody to come up and talk to you so you don’t feel like you’ve slipped between the cracks. I’m sorry you guys feel this way, and I’m glad you didn’t let it sit before posting. It’s better to let your feelings out I think. Anyway, I think it’s better because I usually keep them in anyway. 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *